


Testing 123

by andthisbrightstar



Series: Beautiful Boy [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Family, M/M, Parenthood, Past Child Abuse, barisi as dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-07 02:43:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17952152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andthisbrightstar/pseuds/andthisbrightstar
Summary: Alex had been living with Rafael and Sonny for a little over two months and things were going really well. Until they weren’t.





	Testing 123

**Author's Note:**

> I got real bad writers block on Suddenly/Alex’s story as a whole and writing this helped get me out of that funk. Suddenly isn’t complete but if you’re confused as to who Alex is the few chapters of it that are uploaded should clear that up!

Alex had been living with Rafael and Sonny for two months now and it was going better with each passing week. Alex turned eleven and had first ever real birthday party, he was relying on his notebook less in favor of actually speaking, and he was sleeping better. Things were going really well, until they weren’t.  
-  
Sonny woke up on Friday morning happy, grateful to have the day off. That joy was however thrown in his face within a few seconds when he sat up and heard Alex yelling at Rafael in the kitchen. This didn’t surprise as much as it would have a month ago, but it still stung nonetheless. For the past week Alex had been on edge and angry nearly 24/7, but had yet to provide either Rafael or Sonny with a reason. His therapist told them it was to be expected as he got more settled in to his new life, one with two fully competent adult caretakers that he wasn’t use to, but believing that got harder as his anger issues seemed to be getting worse, not better. Sonny sighed and rolled out of bed, only half ready to take on what was waiting for him outside their bedroom door.

“You said I didn’t have to school if I wasn’t ready!” Alex shouted, his backpack flung on the ground. Rafael stood on the other side of the counter, seemingly already at wits end.

“We said that when you first moved in mijo, you’ve been going to school for almost two months now and you haven’t complained about it until today.” Rafael responding, giving Sonny a weak smile over the boy’s head.

“You can’t make me go.” Alex said defiantly, crossing his arms.

“You don’t have a choice kiddo, we’re the adults here.” Sonny said bluntly. Alex flinched a little at the suddenness of voice coming from behind him but didn’t let it shake him completely, turning around with a glare. 

“You aren’t my dad, you don’t tell me what to do.” He spat out snidely. Sonny gulped, trying not to let how much the eleven year old had hurt his feelings show on his face. They had made it clear Alex didn’t have to call Sonny anything he wasn’t comfortable with, but before the anger issues started he had been easing into calling him dad. Rafael saved him from having to respond, picking up Alex’s bag and sliding it across the counter to him. 

“But I am, and you’re going to school.” He said sternly, Alex begrudgingly putting the backpack on and stomping towards the door. Rafael went to follow him, pausing to squeeze Sonny’s hand.

“I cancelled my consultations today, we’ll talk when I get back.” He lamented sadly, pressing a kiss to his cheek before ushering Alex out the door.  
-  
When Rafael returned sans Alex Sonny was on the couch, the TV humming in the background as he scrolled through his phone mindlessly. Rafael frowned, sliding in next to him and reaching over to lock his phone to get him to look up.

“I know what he said hurt, I’m sorry.” He said, Sonny just shaking his head. “You don’t need to apologize. It’s just- things were going so well, ya know? What the hell got into him this past week?” Sonny said, Rafael putting an arm around him and rubbing his shoulder.

“His therapist said it was normal.” Rafael responded, Sonny huffing in response and tapping his foot against the floor anxiously. “So we just wait until he decides he’s done? How long is that going to be, another week, months?” He said, exasperated. 

“I don’t know. If you think it’d be worth it I can get an opinion from a different trauma therapist.”

“I don’t think it would hurt to try.” Sonny said, softening his expression.  
-  
After some time spent watching TV they got caught up in their own _creative_ version of stress relief, but were interrupted by Rafael’s phone ringing. Sonny groaned as Rafael pulled away from him to answer it.

“It’s the school.” He said when he glanced at the Caller ID, his heart dropping into his stomach. 

“You’re kidding.” Sonny said, sitting up and buttoning his shirt back up, watching Rafael’s face carefully trying to gauge exactly how much trouble Alex had gotten himself into in the one hour he had been in the building. 

“Yes, I understand. My partner and I are on our way, thank you.” With that Rafael hung up, running a hand over his face and shaking his head. Sonny raised an eyebrow, the anxiety his fiance was feeling radiating off of him.

“Alex has apparently “not been doing so well today Mr.Barba”” Rafael said, heightening his voice to match the pitch of Alex’s principal. To her credit she was a nice woman, she was just the absolute last person Rafael wanted to hear the voice of today.

“I’m sure she said more than that.” Sonny said, standing up to go put his shoes on and passing Rafael his.

“Not much. Just that he’s yelled at his teacher, shoved another student, and then yelled at the principal when he was sent her way. She asked if we could come pick him up early.”  
-  
Picking Alex up from school was uneventful, though in the bigger picture of things a quiet mumbling eleven year old was better than a shouting one. 

“You know why we picked you up early, right?” Rafael said, glancing into the rearview mirror at him as they pulled out of the parking lot. Alex was sitting with his knees to his chest , his seatbelt twisted behind him, and merely shrugged in response to the question, Sonny turning around in passenger seat to face him

“Your principal and your teacher weren’t happy with you today. They said you yelled at them and shoved another kid in your class.” He said, using the ‘stern dad voice’ he had insisted on practicing in the car on the way over.

“And?” Alex mumbled, picking at a thread on his hoodie. 

“You’re a good kid Alex, I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately but your attitude and the way you’ve been behaving is unacceptable. Do you get that?” Sonny asked, Alex only giving him another shrug as he turned his body to face towards the window.   
-  
“Go get your iPad from your room and bring it out here. We won’t go through it but there are consequences for what you did at school.” Rafael said when they walked in the door, Alex huffing and stomping down the hallway to his room. Even though he was listening begrudgingly, Rafael was grateful he had listened at all. He returned a minute later, shoving the tablet at Rafael. He set it down on the counter, but not before he noticed the lock-screen. It was a picture Olivia had taken of the three of them at Christmas, just two weeks after Alex had moved in. It was the first time the boy had looked genuinely happy, and it stung to have to look up from that photo to the angry kid standing in front of him. 

“Thank you, we’d love it if you stayed out here with us but if you want to go cool off in your room that’s-” 

Before Rafael could even finish his sentence the boy was storming off down the hallway and slamming the door. 

“Fine.” He finished to himself, almost bursting into tears when Sonny came up and hugged him from behind.  
-  
Rafael and Sonny gave Alex his space for a few hours, until 12:30 when neither of them could take the tension in the apartment. Sonny made his way to his room, Rafael getting started on lunch in the kitchen.

Sonny knocked on the door twice, a minute passing with no response before he tried again. 

“Open up kiddo, you need to eat lunch.” He said, only to be met with continued silence.

“Alex are you asleep?” He tried, only realizing Alex wouldn’t answer if he was sleeping after he said it. He evidently wasn’t sleeping, as his peeved voice traveled through the door within a few seconds.

“I’m not hungry” The voice said, Sonny rolling his eyes. 

“You barely ate anything for breakfast, come on.” He rebutted, breathing a sigh of relief when the door opened. Alex walked out into the kitchen in front of him, standing against the counter with his arms crossed. 

“I thought you said lunch was ready.” He said when Sonny walked in, and if looks could kill the man would be dead on the ground.

“It’ll be out in a few minutes.” Rafael responded without turning around from the stove, Alex crossing his arms and grumbling “Can I go back to my room?” He asked after a few seconds, raising an eyebrow. _He looks like exactly like Rafael when he does that_ , Sonny thought, and it would have been endearing if it wasn’t for all the wrong reasons.

“No, you’ve been in there since we came home. We’d like to talk to you.” He said, trying to keep his tone even.

“Why?” Alex asked, his voice increasing in volume.

“Because there’s obviously something going on that’s making you act like this and we can’t help if we don’t know what’s going on.” Sonny responded. Alex looked a little taken aback by how kind his tone was in the face of his snideness, but if it had some deep impact on his heart it didn’t show.

“There’s nothing going on.” He mumbled, kicking the ground mindlessly. 

“Oh come on Alex. I’m a detective, I can see right through these anger games you’ve been playing with us.” Sonny said, Alex snapping his head back up.

“Why do you care? I’m not your kid.” He said, Sonny inhaling sharply before responding. 

“First of all, you can’t play that card when Rafael cares just as much as me. Second, you might not like this but I consider you my kid. I have a photo of you and Rafael on my desk and when people ask about it I tell it’s of my fiancé and _our_ son. I want to know what the hell is going on with you because I care about you.”

Alex seemed to deflect a bit at that, only for the stone cold angry expression to resurface after a moment. 

“Well I hate you.” He snapped, Rafael whipping around from where he was standing with his back to the building drama. 

“Alexander we do not speak like that in this house. Sonny has bent over backwards for you, apologize.” He said, shooting an apologetic glance at Sonny, to who his credit was doing a good job at looking like the words didn’t get to him. 

“No.” Alex responded, voice starting to tremble. 

“I’m sorry to hear that you hate me but that doesn’t change anything I-”

Sonny was cut off by Alex swinging out his arm, his fist almost connecting with his face before Rafael lunged forward and grabbed him from behind. Alex screamed bloody murder, digging his nails into Rafael’s wrists trying to get away. 

“Alex, mijo, calm down. Breathe. I am holding onto you to keep you and Sonny safe. I am not going to hurt you.” Rafael said as softly as he could with 70 pounds of boy pushing against him. He loosened his grip after a minute when Alex stopped resisting as much, and he was fairly certain the boy wasn’t going to bolt even if given the chance. Alex brought his hands to his head, pulling at his hair as he started hyperventilating. 

Sonny took a step forward to comfort him, the action only making Alex screech again, this time throwing his arms over his face. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry please don’t hurt me I’m really sorry I’m so sorry please-”

Sonny sighed, meeting Rafael’s eyes about the boy’s head sadly before focusing his attention back on Alex. 

“Alex I will never ever do anything to hurt you. Never. No matter how aggressive you get with me or how you make me feel. You’re a kid and I’m an adult. Hurting people is not how adults, good adults, solve problems.” Sonny spoke softly, Alex stealing a glance up at him briefly before darting his eyes back on the ground, breathing heavily. Sonny bent down a little so he was level with him. “I don’t know what’s been going on with you the past few days, and it makes me sad but it doesn’t make me angry. It makes me sad because I don’t like knowing that you’re hurting and not being able to fix it.”

“You don’t hate me?” Alex said softly, looking up.

“Of course I don’t hate you. I love you to death, I could never hate you.” Sonny replied, giving him a soft smile. At that Rafael removed his arms from around him, putting a gentle hand on his back to guide him over to the couch. Alex sat between the two adults, picking at his nail beds. 

“I know living here and being in a more structured environment is an adjustment that might be hard, but neither of us can help if you don’t tell us how you feel.” Rafael said. Alex looked at Sonny, biting on his bottom lip before speaking quietly. 

“I know you said you don’t hate me, but I wanted to know if you would.”

Sonny’s face fell. “Look at me Alex,” He said, the boy wearily meeting his eyes. “I love you. Nothing will ever ever ever change that. No matter how much you test me or Rafael I will never hate you. I will never hurt either of you. I promise.”

“I’m sorry.” Alex mumbled, and with those two words dissolving into tears. Sonny reached out cautiously, breathing a sigh of relief when the boy let him hold his hand. 

“I know you are hon, sometimes when we’re really worked up we do and say things we don’t mean. But in healthy families we work through how we feel together. There is nothing you can’t talk to us about.” He lamented, Alex scooting back a little so he was leaning on Rafael, the man running a gentle hand through his hair mindlessly.

“You’re really never going to leave?” He said, Sonny smiling as he racked his brain for a better response than a simple _no_ , which felt repetitive. 

“No Alex. That’s why I’m marrying Rafael. I want to be with him, and you, for the rest of my life.” Sonny said, feeling his eyes start to tear up.

“When are you getting married?” Alex asked, Rafael jumping in to give Sonny a moment to compose himself.

“We aren’t sure yet. Maybe over the summer, maybe next year. We don’t know.” He said, genuinely smiling for the first time that day as he thought about it. Following that it was silence between the trio, but it was a comfortable silence.

“I need to apologize to my teacher and the kid I pushed.” Alex said after a minute, scooting forward and popping his knuckles, having picked up the same stress habit as Rafael long before he even lived with him.

“How about you write them both notes while we eat?” Sonny said, Rafael getting up and thanking his lucky stars he had turned the stove off just before Alex lost it. 

Alex didn’t stand up right away, scooting forward and throwing his arms around Sonny’s neck, hugging him tightly. Sonny hugged him back tighter, not able to stop a few tears from streaming down his face. There were apology notes to write, therapy appointments to be made, and a million other things to be done, but it all seemed so small in comparison to the current moment. 2 months ago Alex was side stepping around the apartment to avoid Sonny like he had the plague, and now he felt comfortable enough to throw himself into a hug. As much as he doubted himself at times, he must have been doing something right.

**Author's Note:**

> i live for comments/feedback <3


End file.
